Gender Play is when someone experiments with gender
presentation (the way you express yourself) during sexual activity.
This can involve a lot of elements, most commonly fantasy, clothes, and
toys.
Fantasy is the main part of any sexual play,
especially when a specific kink is involved. There may be many reasons a
person may find parts of gender play attractive, they may like
exploring gender inside and outside of the bedroom, they may feel
empowered by presenting a different way, or they may feel humiliated by
presenting a certain way and humiliation is a kink of theirs. When a
person dresses up as what is commonly perceived as how a certain gender
is supposed to look like when they don’t identify as that gender it is
referred to as crossdressing. Crossdressing in itself isn’t a fetish and
isn’t sexual in any way but adding crossdressing to a certain roleplay
can be a turn on. Some people do get aroused by being in certain
clothes, and that can be part of the appeal. Some people get turned on
by being forced into certain clothes, this is most commonly seen in
forced feminization. Forced feminization is when a man is “forced”
(remember, everything actually involves consent, the forced is part of
the roleplay) into feminine clothes like lingerie and usually is the
more submissive part of the relationship. They may feel humiliated by
the act and feel arousal because of it. The reverse is true, some people
feel empowered or sexy being in clothes of a different gender. This can
be either “feminine” clothes or “masculine clothes”. When you have a
certain fantasy you want to try out talk to your partner, explain what
about it you find sexy and see what they think. Explore their fantasies
as well.
The next part of gender play involves clothes.
Dressing a certain way is a pretty big part of the fantasy. This can be
whole outfits like suits, dresses, maid uniforms, or other costumes that
are seen as gendered in our society, or this can involve lingerie only.
Your clothes are meant to make you feel sexy or aroused. Your partner
may be able to help you pick something to wear but talk to them if you
have any particular outfit in mind. Of course an outfit isn’t just
clothes, it’s also accessories and make-up. Having your partner put you
in make-up can make you feel sexy, or they may feel turned on by putting
make up on you. You can further use make up to make you feel more like
whatever gender you are playing with. Incorporate it into your foreplay.
You can also utilize fake facial hair and theater make up to change
your features to either be more “masculine” or more “feminine”. You can
also use wigs, jewelry, and shoes to further help you get into the right
mood. Other things can help you make your body the shape you want it
to. For people with breasts who during this play would rather not have
breasts you can get a binder. DO NOT use bandages or tape of any kind.
This not only will be painful to wear and remove it’ll make it difficult
to breathe and if you’re doing an exerting activity like sex this can
prove deadly. There are binding shirts that are easier to move in and
more comfortable. For people who would like their chest to be bigger or
to have breasts you can either use bra inserts or breast forms. Bra
inserts (which you can make out of foam or cloth) of course go away once
you take a bra off but breast forms can stick to your skin and have
nipples and look more realistic. For people who would like a bulge in
your pants you can pack, meaning you put something that is meant to look
like a penis in your underwear. You can either buy realistic packers or
use a rolled up sock in-between two layers of underwear. If you want
that bulge to disappear you can tuck, meaning tucking the penis in
between the legs so it isn’t visible. This can take practice, but there
are underwear specifically made for this purpose. It may help to use two
pairs, a cute outer layer and a tighter inner layer. Speaking of cute
outer layer there are brands of lingerie meant specifically made for those designated the male sex at birth. This lingerie can fit better on your body.
Now comes toys. The main toy everyone thinks of is
the strap on. Strap ons are most commonly associated as being used with
two people with vulvas or in “pegging” when someone with a vulva
penetrates a person with a penis anally but really anyone can use one
for any kind of penetration. There are two parts to a strap on, the
harness and the dildo. When it comes to dildos you can use pretty much
anything with a flared base. It’s best to make sure it’s harness
compatible, and you may need to buy different rings to put on the
harness to make sure the dildo fits. Other than that dildos really come
in any shape, size, and color available so there’s lots to choose from.
There are a couple of different styles of harness. There’s the double or
two strap harness, which is when there’s straps that go around the
thighs/under the butt and another strap around the waist. This is a
pretty secure harness. There is the g-string harness which is when a
strap goes around the waist and another goes like a g-string from the
crotch to the back of the waist strap. This is not as secure but is more
comfortable for some. There is also the underwear harness, which is the
most comfortable as it’s pretty much underwear with a hole in the
front, but it can be tricky to keep stable. The most common brand is the
RodeoH. You can get a harness made of leather which comes in mostly the
g-string category, or a non leather harness. It is made usually of some
sort of cloth. There are a lot of styles, brands, and colors to choose
from. You can also get one with a pocket for a bullet vibrator so the
person doing the penetrating can get stimulation as well. If you’d like
something that’d provide more stimulation you may want a double ended
dildo. That is a dildo that penetrates you as well as a partner. There
are many different varieties of double ended dildos. Some, like the
feeldoe may be shaped so that a part goes inside of you and a phallic
object that may look like a realistic penis is used to be used during
penetration of your partner. Some may have vibrators on your end. Others
are really long poles or U shapes meant for both of you to penetrate
each other. Again, there are limitless styles and brands of dildos.
