Beginner’s Guide to Anal Play

If you’re thinking about doing any sort of anal play for the first time you might be a little hesitant when it comes to the feces issue. There are two ways to combat this issue. The first is if you need to go to the bathroom, do it. This is a good rule for pretty much any sexual conduct. If you want to be super clean some pros choose to give themselves an enema beforehand. It’s not necessary though, since it’s doubtful it’ll really matter. it’s also a bad idea to do enemas often as it dries out the anal cavity and can cause damage. Really all you need is to keep your bowels regular and wash well. Anal sex is a good way to get un-constipated though, so don’t be alarmed if you have to go to the bathroom afterwards. Again, it’s a good idea to go to the bathroom after any type of sexual activity. If you have regular bowel movements you probably wont have any feces in the rectum unless you currently need to use the restroom. The second way to have completely clean anal play is to use protection. If you use any phallic object you can use a condom, any oral attention (analingus) you can use a dental dam, and you can use a glove if you’re using a hand. Also, as always, NEVER go from anus to vagina with anything. This can spread a bunch of germs and cause an infection. Anal play in general can spread infection including STIs like Hepatitis. It’s a good idea to always use dental dams and condoms. The anus is also really sensitive to irritation which means STIs pass really easily with anal play which makes it even more important to use condoms.





If you’re stimulating someone’s anus with your hand, the best time to do this is during oral sex. While you’re paying attention to their front genitals you can gently stimulate their anus. It might be easier if either the person has a pillow under their lower back, raising them from the surface, or if they have their legs pulled up and their feet flat on the ground with their weight on their feet, raising up their pelvic area. You can start by rubbing the perineum (or taint as it’s more commonly known), the area in between the genitals and anus. Then slowly move your hand to the anus. Remember to use lubrication! Just put a little bit of lube on your fingers (if you use latex gloves or other barriers be sure it isn’t oil based lube) and gently massage around the anus and then slip one finger in. Pay attention to the rings of the anus, as there are a lot of nerves there. If you’re partner has a prostate, it is located about two inches inward and is a small chestnut sized bump. You can stimulate it by rubbing back and forth around it, flicking your finger over it, rubbing around it or practically any other motion. If the person doesn’t have a prostate, focus around the ring of the anus. You can try thrusting movements too, either way and just explore with what makes them feel best. If you start to feel it drying up you might need to add more lube, especially if you also want to add more fingers. Be sure to go slow as your stretching the anus. Anal play doesn’t have to be painful.

If you want to stimulate the anus with your tongue, you can also do this while stimulating their genitals. You can do this easiest with either with their pelvis propped up or with them on their hands and knees. Again, you can use a dental dam if you want to (and remember, this protects from STIs!). It’s good to start just licking around the anal area. Again, you can be sure to stimulate the area in between the anus and genitals. Kissing, licking and biting around the buttocks can also be very sensual. Once you’ve done that you can start using your tongue on the anal area. Lick around the anus and gently apply pressure. Once you penetrate the anus with your tongue you can swirl it around the anal rings to further open it up and stimulate it. You can thrust in and out with your tongue and apply pressure to different parts of the anus.

If you’re going to try phallic penetration, remember to use lots of lube. If you’re using a condom, don’t use oil based lube, if you’re using a silicon toy don’t use silicon based lube, if you use water based lube you’re probably going to have to reapply often because water based dries up the quickest. It’s best to only try phallic penetration after you’ve been loosened up with some combination of hand and tongue attention. The easiest way to have anal sex with a partner is on all fours. That way not only can you get to the anus easily, but you or your partner also has room to continue to stimulate your genitals. You can use pillows or a cushion to help keep your hips in the air. Once the penis and anus has been lubricated you can begin penetration. If you’re on the receiving end be sure to relax. Do not clench your muscles. If it’s easier and you’re propped up just relax your entire body and let your partner do all the work. The person doing the penetration should just slowly and steadily push their penis (or other phallic object) into the anus. Go as slow as you need to. Don’t try going too deep too fast. You might need to stop once you’re in to let the other person become adjusted. Then you can begin the thrusting. You might need to go slow at first, and you might need to add more lube as you go. If your partner has a prostate be sure to try to aim for it and stimulate it. After that just focus on you and your partner’s mutual enjoyment!

If you want to use a toy for anal stimulation there’s a lot to choose from. There are butt plugs, which come in various shapes and sizes. The main purpose of butt plugs is to open your anus. They aren’t really meant to be moved around. This can be really helpful if you need to stretch out your anus. Especially if you have a partner with a bigger penis you can use butt plugs to get yourself used to being penetrated. You can gradually work up to bigger butt plugs and toys. There are also anal beads. The main draw of this particular toy is that the shape is very different from other more phallic toys and it stimulates different parts of the anus. There are Dildos just for anal play. They can come in all shapes and sizes so really the only difference between dildos made just for anal play and other dildos is they usually have a wider/thicker base to make it easier to use and keep them from slipping into the anus. There are also vibrators for anal play, and toys that specifically stimulate the prostate. Don’t use toys that don’t have a flared base, especially if someone’s not tightly holding onto it as the anus tends to suck things in. There’s lots to choose from!